This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Randomize
