it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
