do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Randomize
