I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
