Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
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