Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
