Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
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