Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
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