Where is the hickey?
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize
