There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
