You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
