being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
