im having a threesome with these popsicles
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Randomize
