just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
