fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
