my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
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