I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Randomize
