Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
