How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
