you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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