guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heโs Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Oh and itโs been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! ๐๐๐๐ฌ๐ณ๐
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