Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize