dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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