My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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