erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
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