i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
40s are totally the cure
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
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