You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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