Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
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