She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
