All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Randomize
