I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Randomize
