One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Operation Purity has been aborted
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
