is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
