Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
