that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
