In the future we'll all be gay
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
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