just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
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