I can tuck mytits in my pants
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
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