She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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