i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Randomize
