Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Randomize
