I'm gonna have a badass scar
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
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