When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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