I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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