Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I didn't notice because vodka
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Randomize
