hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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