i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
