I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
Dear god my vagina.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
