If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Watching her eat just hurts me
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Randomize
