You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
