i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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