Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
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She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
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Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
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