..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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