I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
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