He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
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