3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
