just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Randomize