I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
