Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
