but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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