It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Randomize
