my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
He felt like a one man threesome
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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